The dating questions that come up when you stop drinking break into three sub-questions. What to do on first dates. How to handle a relationship that was partly structured around shared drinking. Whether to date other sober people.
First dates
The first-date dilemma is real but smaller than it feels. The standard first date in most American cultures is "get drinks somewhere." Skipping the drinks part is straightforward; you order a club soda or an NA beer when your date orders wine. The question is whether to disclose ahead of time that you are not drinking, or to let it come up naturally on the date.
The argument for disclosing ahead of time: it filters. Anyone who is not interested in dating someone sober will self-deselect, and you save an evening you would not have enjoyed. The argument against: you become "the sober one" in their head before they have met you, and the rest of the date is processed through that lens. Some people will react to the upfront disclosure with curiosity, which is great. Some will react with caution, which is less great.
What works for most people is to mention it casually in the date-setting message, not as a disclosure but as a logistics note. "I don't drink, but I'd love to grab coffee or do something else." This treats the not-drinking as a fact about your life, not a confession or a flag. People respond to it the way they respond to any logistical preference.
The second question is what to do instead of drinks. Coffee is the most overused alternative; it is fine but signals "low investment." Better alternatives that work on first dates: a walk somewhere worth walking, a museum or gallery during the day, a bookstore browse, a specific restaurant for an early dinner, a market or fair if one is happening. The bar is not the only first-date location. The first-date pressure is partly created by the bar setting.
When the relationship was partly structured around shared drinking
If you have been with your partner for a while and the relationship has a shared drinking culture, the adjustment is real. The Friday wine on the couch. The shared bottle at dinner. The cocktails before going out. These rituals were doing relationship-bonding work that you will now have to substitute for.
The most important thing is to acknowledge the substitution openly. The rituals are not bad; they are just no longer available in their previous form. New rituals need to take their place. The Friday wine becomes a Friday walk. The shared bottle becomes a shared decanted sparkling thing in nice glasses. The cocktails-before-going-out become some other countdown ritual that is theirs together.
The conversation with your partner about your not-drinking should happen explicitly, not by attrition. Partners who feel included in the decision adjust well. Partners who feel surprised by it tend to resent the imposition, even when they support the underlying choice. The difference is the conversation.
Some partners will themselves cut back when their partner does. This is common but not universal. Do not require it. Pressure to quit from the recently-quit partner is the fastest way to damage the relationship. Lead by example, not by recruitment.
Whether to date other sober people specifically
This is a personal question and the answer depends on what you want.
The argument for dating other sober people: shared experience. They understand the why without needing it explained. They have made the same adjustment. The dating itself does not require you to navigate someone else's drinking culture.
The argument against: you are not your sobriety. Filtering your romantic life by it can be over-correction. The people who are interesting to you are interesting for other reasons, and the not-drinking is one fact among many.
What most sober daters end up doing is not filtering on sobriety, but filtering on attitude toward sobriety. Someone who drinks moderately and is supportive of your not-drinking is a fine partner. Someone who drinks heavily and is dismissive about your not-drinking is not. The relevant filter is "does this person have a working relationship with their own drinking" more than "does this person drink at all."
The compatibility question over time
Long-term compatibility with a partner who drinks is workable for most people. The friction shows up at specific moments. Vacations. Holidays. New Year's Eve. Anniversaries. These set pieces are where the difference in posture is most visible.
The couples who navigate this well typically share the principle that the drinking is not the relationship's centerpiece. They do drinking-adjacent activities together and either party can opt in or out of the drinking part. The drinking is not the thing they do together; the activity is the thing they do together, and one of them happens to have a drink.
The couples who struggle typically had a shared drinking culture that was load-bearing for the relationship. Removing it exposes the question of what they have in common otherwise. For some, the answer is "a lot." For some, the answer is "less than we thought." The honest answer is the honest answer.